Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
