i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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