HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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