Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
