Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
