my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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