is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
