tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
