she woke up with a sticky ear
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
