Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
