anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
