i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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