I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
