I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
