i just google imaged poop.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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