dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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