A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Church boner. Awkwardddd
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
