Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
