I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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