drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
