K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
