Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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