i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
