I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
