Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
