Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sext me about skeletons
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
