GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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