Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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