around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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