No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
