i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
