i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
