eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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