With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
