Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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