pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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