i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
