fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
