Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
