I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
