ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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