just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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