I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
