I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
