WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
