I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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