is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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