Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
