Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
