She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
