Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
