just come out here and I will go home with you...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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