sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
