just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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