one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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