I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
