I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
