his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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