So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
