I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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