Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
