just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
